Welcome back to the blog. I’m diving right in.

This is a topic that’s extremely close to my own heart. Being a single mom who is trying to stay at home with her daughter can get tricky when your line of expertise is in the digital world. It requires you to sit in front of a screen during business hours. But being a “professional business woman” doesn’t have to take precedent over “mama” when you’re working from home.

Let me preface all of this to say I come from a family of hippies. My sister’s name is Freedom and when she was born, my parents were living in a teepee in the middle of the forest with a wolf-dog… if that helps to paint the picture.

It goes without saying that I’ve always seen (and done) things differently than your average bear. So it’s only natural I would feel compelled to have an online presence as a content creator. It may be unconventional, I get that.

But then again, so has every other thing in my life been. To me, it’s a perfect fit. I get to utilize all the things I’ve grown a passion for and gained in knowledge of over my years- while also building a community of like minded, strong individuals who can help to amplify the importance of living holistically. Being in awareness and always remaining creative on your journey are also very close to my heart, so it all fits for me. More than that, it has been my drive for the past 5 years. And even despite the devastation of the loss of my original social account with nearly 3k organic followers, I still return because I believe in what I’m sharing with you. I believe in the ability we all have to reach for what you want in life in order to create space in this world as unique as you are.

Even as the internet became more of a thing during my stint on this earth, it’s grown into it’s own monster. Long gone are the days of listening to dial up tones, only to have to yell across the house for your sister to get off the phone so you could connect. We now have information literally at our fingertips whenever we want it, and with that massive cultural shift comes opportunity for the artist like never before.

If you’ve been reading along on my blog, you have probably come to realize that I live my life with awareness and I am teaching my daughter to do the same up here in our sleepy mountain town in the Rockies. Today, I’m sharing some tips I have developed to balance my work/home life when it happens to be the same thing.

Set boundaries.

Hear me out.

Staying connected with Mojave since the day she was born is something I strive to continue every day. It is my number one goal, to not break that connection. Even still, it is important to know where our boundaries exist between baby and mama. Where does one end and the other begin? Not only is it perfectly healthy to figure out your boundaries, but incredibly beneficial to both of you to put them into practice daily. Our children must know where we are separate entities as well as one in this journey. People often ask me how I have such a good baby and I honestly attribute it to this very factor.

I recently had to scold Mojave for pinching me. She’s in the phase now where she’s pinching as hard as she can just to see how hard she can (along with pulling hair + under-arm grabbing, its been fun). But after my left boob looked like I’d survived a clumsy leap over a barbed wire, it was finally time to make sure she understood I was serious. Every time she pinches me, I’ll rotate a number of responses (just to keep it fresh).

1) I’ll act like it hurt a lot more than it did (and sometimes I’m not acting, it flipping hurts) with a fairly loud “Ouch!” followed by “Don’t pinch mama, that hurts.”

2) I’ll grab her hand and firmly move it away (not hard enough to hurt her but enough to cause her to shift her focus) and say calmly “I can’t allow you to hurt me.”

3) And this one usually comes once she’s closer to falling sleep, I will simply pull her hand out of my skin’s grasp and continue to do so every time until she stops trying (non-verbal).

Another way to show your boundaries is to have play time / work time right next to each other. I’ll talk more about this, below in “Set the peace”. What does this have to do with staying connected to baby while working from home? Boundaries have a significant track record in contributing to the level of security your child feels, as a whole. When baby feels secure, she’s happy, when she’s happy, you are able to get more work done. You may think I’m discreetly giving you gentle parenting advice and you’d be right.

Set play stations.

This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about this on my social media outlets. I’ll swear by this. We have set up in our home, multiple stations where Mojave can play, learn and entertain herself while mama is working. The real trick is to only have certain toys at each location so she looks forward to spending time in that particular station. I’ll list ours to give you some ideas:

Living Room:

-Her swing with her stuffed fawn and butterfly.

-Floor mat with her wooden hanging toy.

-Bouncy doorway swing, with her rubber geometric ball.

Kitchen:

-Bouncy doorway swing, with her rubber geometric ball (it hangs in the doorway between the two rooms lol)

-Highchair with her wooden forest animal toys and water bottle

Bedroom/Office:

-Bassinet with her stuffed horse and forest friends hanging mobile.

-Vibrating rocking chair with hanging toys and her fabric book.

-Crib with her roller hedgehog bellytime toy and with/without her bumbo chair when she wants to work next to mama at my desk within eye view and arm’s reach.

All different stations offer her various experiences to keep it interesting throughout her day. And meanwhile, she’s learning all the things she is supposed to be learning at this stage in her development. She has actually started requesting (in our own language) when she is ready to do a certain activity. Once baby is loaded into a station within sight line, be prepared to find a little extra time in your day between feedings.

Set the peace.

So, I’m a pretty big music lover, let’s be honest. I love all types, from almost every genre and it’s usually the obscure, underground artist just about to break it big or some good old fashioned Native American flute music. I’m well versed. But even this mama embraces hours or days where I am working in silence. Just as music has the ability to shift our mood, so does the silence.

I especially love doing this with Mojave when she’s fully engaged in one of her play stations. Meanwhile, I am right beside her, interacting with her when necessary, but for the most part, allowing her to enjoy her own silent discovery time while I work. Doing this sets a healthy boundary with your baby. It tells them that they are safe even if they are not the center of the attention. But the silence also teaches them how to remain in a state of peaceful discovery.

It teaches them how to find their own entertainment. It may feel counter-intuitive at first, but when you really dive into that feeling, is it really your intuition telling you? Or the voices of those who hold influence over you? It’s a question we must ask ourselves daily.

I think there is a strong energy of guilt and shame that encircles every mother, anytime we are near a baby, to not be fawning on them (24/7). That energy presses in, saying you’re doing it wrong, or you’re a bad mom for choosing this or that, but we continue on, regardless, hopefully doing what you feel in your gut is the right choice. That’s what it looks like to remove yourself from the mental slavery of toxic society. It becomes even easier when you become a mother, am I right? I, personally have other priorities to worry about than what people are thinking of my parenting skills. Like raising Mojave to not be an asshole.

I recognize the incredible benefits I’m finding in arranging our lifestyle this way. Not just for me, but for her. Overall, Mojave is a much calmer, self-determined child already because of it. Ask anyone who has met her, they’ll tell you. My sister, mother to 4 of her own, recently told me with bright eyes, “Des! She’s not supposed to be doing that stuff yet!” I can’t remember the exact reason that she said it, but she was emphasizing how incredibly smart and alert we are all beginning to notice she is already.

Set limits.

I’d think it’s pretty safe to assume we have all encountered the new phenomenon of learning to limit our online time. When you’re working and exchanging your time and energy for online income, all things are permissible, but this tip is about setting a limit that is manageable within your household between working hours, and on what I like to call “baby’s schedule”, meaning yours remains as fluid as possible to allow time for nurture and play when necessary.

I want Mojave to grow up understanding that the phone/internet/computer are a means to an end more than an entertaining play toy as we have all been raised to understand it. In our home, when I’m done working and I’m spending time with Mojave, the phone is put away. Literally out of sight so she knows I have her full attention. The key is giving her these moments throughout the work day so she isn't left feeling hungry for it.

Then when she takes a nap, I get to enjoy whatever leisure time I have doing other things with my phone such as mindless games or scrolling. Admittedly, I’m not a fan of such mindless acts, but everything in moderation and in it’s right place is perfectly fine in my book. Sometimes we need mindless acts to decompress, especially when your job consists of using a lot of your mental energy. These are all lessons I hope to instill into Mojave. All of life is about balance, and this is no different.

I’m trying to make sure I’m doing my part to raise the next generation that will change this world.

That requires a noble, undervalued full time job of the mother to follow their intuition over the “fad parenting”. Trust the wisdom passed down from our mothers before us instead of trusting the newest TV doctor. And if you find that you don’t have a strong community of holistic motherly wisdom, that’s why I’m building the Mojave+Wolf community.

The more we grow, the more that knowledge can get spread throughout the masses.

I am in the boat of believers that suspect the future trajectory for the world, the direction it is headed looks very different from where we’ve recently been. We would have to instead, look back another few hundred years or so to find where we’re headed.

More and more people are beginning to grow their own food (something I’m planning on starting up again this spring). They are finding land, moving out to the wild and rediscovering their peace- away from this noisy world we have found ourselves in.

I’m one of them.

If I could currently find a place even further into the mountains, or a few hundred acres to land on, you could count me a happy gal. Until then, I create my peace right where I am with what I have and take whatever steps I can daily to arrive at my vision.

Do you think you could hack it in the mountains? Be sure to check out the vlog episode from this week where I share 10 things you should probably know before making a move to the mountains.

Are you a stay-at-home mama, finding ways to make it work? I’d love to hear what tips you do in your home. Connect with us this week on social:

Instagram: @mojaveandwolf

Facebook: @mojaveandwolf

Youtube: @mojaveandwolf

Until next week, may the road rise up to meet you!

D+Mo