Motherhood: Top 5 Lessons I’ve Learned (so far)

Ah to be writing again. Please excuse me while I revel in this moment just a bit. It was a long journey to get here but a long time coming, and I’m just thrilled to have a place to start regularly sharing with you guys again. I always felt blogs were a much more comfortable setting for getting to know a new friend. These words run straight from my thoughts + heart to yours.

As I write this, Mojave and I are snuggled around the fire. We were snowed in last night up here in our tiny mountain town at 8k elevation in the Rockies and it hasn’t stopped all day. It has left a faint but permanent chill in the air that demands a day-long flame in the hearth- a real necessity sometimes when living up here. Mojave is in love with watching the flames and fire-gazing and I should have known she would be. It’s one of my own favorite pastimes.

It’s a double bonus for me because it allows me time to get some writing done.

I wanted to start things off with the top 5 lessons I’ve learned in motherhood. So far. Because I’m learning new things every single day and I have definitely learned more than this post permits. For that reason, I will probably be revisiting this title from time to time. This post will, obviously be directed from my perspective as a single mother, but I still think it’s pretty relatable for any mom. My hope is to continue to create content for the new mother, regardless of situation, but told through the voice of a proud but authentic single mother.

You let me know if there’s any topics you want me to cover in the coming weeks whether you’re doing it solo or not.

Top 5 Lessons Being A New Mom Has Taught Me

Lesson 5 - Patience.

In general, things happen on a much slower timetable these days. Sometimes it takes me all day to finish making 30 necklaces because of the amount of times I have to stop and tend to Mojave, but it’s all worth it. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this video) Learning to ease into that patience has not only been beneficial but absolutely necessary. It has really helped bring in that slow living I was looking for, so I’m thankful, but it can be frustrating in transition.

This also applies to when Mojave is going through one of her gas experiences (that is, indeed what they have become and more on that below). Within my ability to emit patience during those moments, I am able to teach her even at a young age how to do the same when tough problems arise in life.

That’s not to say I haven’t lost my cool once or twice. What new mom hasn’t? It comes from a place of overwhelm in wanting to help her but not being able to do anything for her. Mothers get it. But it’s something that is worth it for me to be actively working on. Having Mojave grow up to be a good and patient communicator is one of my top goals. It is such an important life skill to have when doing this journey. I speak from experience on both sides.

Lesson 4 - Do a little research.

Before freaking out the next time a diaper is a weird color, it’s probably best to do a little research. (So far I’ve seen black, yellow, green, grey and red, you?) Look, things are going to happen with baby that are out of this world weird, laughably uncomfortable or even scary. As I typed that sentence, Mojave just released her afternoon poop with a delightful sound of passing wind. See how lovely I made that sound? Translation: I have to go change yet another dirty diaper here in a second, was alerted to this by the air horn in that little tush, and who knows what glorious surprise I’ll have waiting for me this time.

Shit happens.

A lot. And it happens again, and again, and a few more times before bed, then once more after she falls asleep. Sometimes it comes easy, but honestly, most times she is working through her digestion issues with great vocal vigor.

Sometimes we can’t figure out what’s wrong and our brains are racing through every scenario because the sweet little child can’t use their words yet, only cry as if their world was ending. It can get pretty intense.

Since baby is extremely sensitive to our own energy, it is so important to keep a cool and level head before calling the emergency pediatric care. If there is no sign of immediate danger, ask around first. Ask friends or family with experience, and see if they might know what’s going on. Most of the time there’s an explanation for everything. We just aren’t prepared adequately for this part of motherhood. Not many resources currently exist outside of Google or passed down information in order to comprehend all the weird and wonderful surprises motherhood brings.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a diaper to change. (See lesson 5.)

Lesson 3 - Buy in bulk.

I will admit, (and this is a slight tangent, but bare with me. I haven’t had a blog in a while) I still cringe anytime I’m having to spend double digits on the very necessities of life. As women, we are groomed to believe our own periods to be a nuisance in our lives with the mere subliminal message of needing to purchase feminine hygiene products in order to remain acceptable to society. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m so thankful products exist for our time of need, but it’s certainly a hassle men will never have to deal with. We can debate it if you want, but there’s a lot of societal changes that we could work towards when it comes to humanity and overall care for the beings that inhabit this world. My theory is if the people are treated better, they in return, treat the world better. It’s a win/win.

I have found diapers to be another one of those things. If you were a restaurant owner and I walked in with a diaper-less baby and said “sorry, I can’t afford diapers so I don’t use them” that you’d be thrilled to serve me? Probably not. Sure, we could go the cloth diaper route, but don’t get me started on keeping up with that hot mess. Literally.

I made the compromise of buying organic and toxic-free brands like Millie Moon for the day and Pampers Pure at night. A necessary compromise when you have a finicky clothes dryer. I have personally found these two brands to be the best as far as coverage and business practices they’re willing to commit to in doing their part.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

All things considered, buying in bulk is actually a sheep in wolves’ clothing, especially when you find great deals. For instance, Target usually offers some variation of “spend $X amount and receive a $X amount gift card”. Is it worth it? Well, I was able to purchase a new doorway bouncy swing for Mojave which is helping strengthen her leg and back muscles and I only had to pay a little over $3 to cover the remaining shipping. All because I went ahead and bought extra diapers and wipes that I know we will go through. So I’d say yes.

Lesson 2 - Comfort is important.

Where you sleep and where you feed and rock baby to sleep are extremely important locations in your home. Mark my words. If I had the chance to invest in two new items for my motherhood journey it would be a new bed mattress and a much more comfortable rocking chair. Don’t get me wrong, they’re doing the job just fine, and again, I’m so thankful to have them, but it would make life a lot less stressful, both physically and mentally, if it were more comfortable.

We already hear the horror stories (likely when you were still pregnant) from other mothers who tell us “sleep while you can” and we just nervously chuckle, biding our time until we are able to experience what in the hell that means for ourselves. Then bam. Labor strikes and (hopefully) a few hours later, you hit the ground running with the whole mothering journey. Again, surprisingly there’s not a lot of resources yet for women on what that next stage, the fourth trimester as they call it, is supposed to look like. Losing your pre-baby hours of sleep is inevitable, so the hours I do get to enjoy, I would like them to be as comfortable as possible. The same goes for the countless hours I’ve already spent in my rocking chair.

So if you are a mattress and/or rocking chair brand looking to sponsor me, let’s chat! Until then, lots of pillows and things to work toward, I suppose.

Lesson 1 - Keep a Schedule

Keeping a level of normalcy around your home is pivotal, not just for baby but for mama. Yes, baby usually sets their own schedule (with your help) with feedings, naps and wanting to play, but outside of those windows, make sure mama is staying on track, too. Don’t confuse this with creating unnecessary busy. I’m talking about something else.

Another wonderful gift that comes with the fourth trimester is what they call “postpartum depression” and it can be a real downer. You’ll find yourself feeling or thinking some of the most damnedest things, all while simultaneously feeling bad that you even thought it in the first place.

But it’s not your fault.

After having a baby, our bodies are literally going through the biggest transition it has ever experienced. Our hormones are fluctuating constantly and it effects our moods tremendously. I have found that along with dietary supplements like Ashwaghanda root powder and continuing to take my prenatal vitamins while I maintain breastfeeding, if I set a schedule for myself (ie eat my three meals a day, make my morning tea, set times dedicated to work or relax with baby, etc) that it helps my postpartum depression to stay at bay.

I may be a dying breed, but I still purchase yearly planners to fill, even if it’s adding to-do’s like “Eat lunch today!” Or “Clean the bathroom and do laundry” outside of the other semi-major events. This helps to create that normalcy I mean. Take a moment to assess that your entire world just got rocked. Finding normalcy again will be important.

As I mentioned, this is, and will continue to be a growing list of lessons I’m learning on this motherhood journey. I hope to never be done learning. I’m happy to share them with you as a regular topic, as well. If you haven’t yet already, I would love it if you subscribed to my newsletter, below. It will notify you when new blog posts go live, as well as when any deals on services come up. For instance, right now I’m offering my photography + social media services at 50% OFF until March 20th as an introductory discount to celebrate the launch of MojaveandWolf.com.

To see more beautiful footage from this recent snow storm, be sure to check out next week’s vlog episode, and if all things run smoothly the rest of this week, it will be released Tuesday on YouTube. The newsletter will remind you of that, too. Just saying.

What about you? What lessons have you learned so far in motherhood? Reach out to me this week and let me know!

Until then, I hope your day is filled with joy and surprising adventures. May the road rise up to meet you!

D+Mo