What is Gentle Parenting?

Welcome back to the blog. I’m jumping right in.

This is a question I get quite a bit from new moms, so I thought it would warrant a blog article. First, let me personally congratulate you on the mere act of looking into this method of parenting. I strongly believe children are owed the chance to be raised in an environment that nurtures who they are becoming.

The discipline debate is as old as time. And no matter what side of the line you stand on, the fact of the matter is that these practices leave a lasting impact on our children. For better or worse. Personally, I want my daughter to grow up feeling as though we were always on the same team. That’s not to say we omit the role of “mother” to replace with “friend”. I won’t mince words when I say that “mother” is a role that must always be present. However, sternness and strict rules don’t always have to equate to that role.

So what is gentle parenting?

It is a method or practice of raising your children with a more “understanding” approach, allowing the child to learn and discover their own choices and emotions, guiding them through big feelings or tantrums as opposed to disciplining without their full understanding of why or without talking things through. The goal is to get the child to understand themselves better, thus creating a better communicator.

The purpose of gentle parenting is to raise children into holistically mature adults (emotionally/mentally, physically and spiritually). But like all things in life, it is accomplished by putting proper attention toward the child each and every day. One experience builds off of the one prior. Children learn through these experiences.

Since many of us were not raised with this sort of emotional intelligence, it is important to realize this connection:

Gentle parenting will only work if the parent is also healing + making changes to their own subconscious patterns.

This is where I may lose a few of you, I get it. But it’s God’s honest truth. Imagine this: The child is throwing a tantrum because they don’t want to take a nap. A gentle parent will sit down with their child, perhaps hold them until they have calmed down while focusing on breath regulation then explain why naps are important. They may display understanding that the child is upset and that their feelings are valid, but throwing a tantrum is not, before promising to read their favorite book before they leave the room for their nap.

If a parent is not equally self-aware, this scenario might not be possible. It may look more like this: The child is throwing a tantrum because they don’t want to take a nap. The parent sighs in frustration that they have to “yet again” deal with a whining child. This frustration escapes as they yell across the room, “That’s enough! It’s time for a nap because I said so!” The child inevitably cries harder because now there is insult added to injury.

If we can suspend this scenario for a moment longer, let’s talk about the repercussions of this sort of subconscious pattern. The child is left feeling unheard and unseen, possibly even rejected. The parent feels ashamed and embarrassed for losing their cool yet again.

No one wins.

When we decide to adopt the gentle parenting method, it involves the team: both parent and child. The goal is not to reach some level of perfection (that’s impossible, in case no one has told you today), but rather to make a dedicated promise to yourself that you will wake up every morning with the willingness to try again.

Gentle parenting includes having compassion and understanding, yourself. As the parent. It requires allowing the child a chance to obey from a place of conscious willingness and having a choice rather than demands and “because I said so” rules. It involves setting and maintaining boundaries. Yes, with your child.

Gentle parenting, at the end of the day is such a positive method to introduce into your life because the benefits will be felt throughout the whole family.

I’m excited to share more on gentle parenting with you this year, so if you’re not subscribed yet, please take a second to find us on social media and introduce yourself!

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Are you a parent who adopts the “Gentle Parent” method? What would you add to this conversation?

Until next week, may the road rise up to meet you!

D+Mo