Lessons From My Younger Self
The 2018 eclipse waited for no man.
A little known fact about me (unless you knew me well) is that I was a professional barista for many years. When I was old enough to finally get a job, and not one that paid under the table, the first place I applied was the Starbucks up the street from my home. I dreamt for the day I could finally apply. It amuses me to see how much gumption I had, even then.
I went on to use this known coffee shop chain as a home base in between photography gigs, anytime one of my art jobs ended or it was off season in the entertainment industry. Being a barista was something that was fairly easy for me to pick up. I was damn good at customer service and making the drinks exactly how the customers wanted them, so it was an easy fall back. Starbucks became my cabin in the winter storms, and with it grew my love for coffee. But even then, the times when I was not working there, I rarely went in for a drink. Little did I know years later I’d be giving it up for good. After all, the prices were continuing to rise over the years and I was gaining more knowledge of how much the consistent high-level caffeine intake was not so good for me. Not to mention, the company was becoming more and more of a leader in their niche so it was now a little too trendy for me. But in the back of my mind, I tried to ignore the fact I was working for a major corporation. Just something about that never sat well with me. Regardless, they had a great service model, a well oiled machine, they treated their employees well enough and it was structure I came to rely on.
It was within my last 4 years with the company that I had become a barista trainer and was being approached by higher management about becoming a store manager when 2020 hit. If you don’t know my history with 2020, you can read about that here. Needless to say, it never worked out.
When I made my move to Colorado, it was under the assumption that I would be transferring stores, but again, for whatever reason they weren’t in need of anyone by the time I arrived. And by the time they were, I had already found another job I was happy with. One that wasn’t run by an office of people I’d never meet.
Everything happens for a reason.
But during my time at my last store, I had gained so much insight in hindsight. I look back at that time in my life and I am amazed at how much I was able to accomplish. After so much pain and stress that followed from 2020, I can now see what good can be taken away from that time in my life and what qualities I can continue to apply now. I’m sharing them, because I believe they could help you, too. As mothers, everything changes. And if we don’t adapt, it could get rough. Here’s what younger me was killing it at:
She hustled.
Performing “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morrisette like I wrote it.
I was working part time, going to work, doing what needed to be done, doing my best at it. Showing up and being present with customers while orchestrating the morning rush with a line out the door, literally every day (our store had grown to be one of the busiest in the Orlando region). Then I was going home and building my business from scratch. Making products to sell, building my website, engaging on social media and creating content on schedule. Being a wife to my husband which included what one normally expects with the picket fence dream: cleaning, cooking, taking care of the animals, maintaining as well as I could. He also traveled a lot for work, so I was often found managing all of this on my own even then. I was doing yoga, I was feeling really good about my life. I don’t know how I fit it all into my schedule now that I have a baby. It’s just not that easy anymore. But that’s okay.
We adapt.
Now, I’m working on incorporating little things back into my schedule, and I’m not getting frustrated with myself if I’m not including other things just yet. I had every intention of doing yoga every day for a month once Mojave hit 5 months old. It lasted a couple days… and that’s okay. I realize maybe taking more walks right now will be more beneficial or maybe so is putting off worrying about my weight for a little bit longer. The good news is it’s my decision to make and I don’t need anyone’s approval to make it.
She had dreams.
That time I jumped out of an airplane 4 times in a 3 month span during my stint of dating a skydiver.
I want to hold younger me in the biggest bear hug and never let her go for her level of naivety and not knowing how hard this world can punch you in the face. But she truly believed in her business she was creating, her art she was doing, the community she was building. She still believed in the goodness of people (for the most part) and she certainly never thought any of it was going to change.
-insert maniacal laughter-
It was extremely difficult for me to find the will to carry on with any of it after the divorce, I’ll just be straight. Let alone the spinal surgery, the losing of my business, home, pets, friends and eventually my social media account with nearly 3k followers. (Again, go back and read that last blog post). It was a really rough year for me, guys.
But through it all, I’ve learned so much about my own ability to transcend and adapt.
She embraced the unknown.
Nailing the most epic high school pirate costume cast party. Not a care in the world.
I wasn’t worried about what was to come because I genuinely believed it was going to be good for me, no matter how it manifested. Only people who dare to start their own business fully understand the emotional pressure when you’re trying to build something like that. You don’t know if people will like it, you don’t know if anyone will be interested in buying. It’s like exposing your heart and hoping someone won’t act disinterested. It’s a lot to take on as icing to the already stressful agenda of building something from scratch. But I was willing and able and I did it.
And I’m proud of that.
When I lost everything, I knew it was going to be extremely hard to go back to working for someone else again. I knew what I was trying to build, and this was a bump in the road that I was not ready for. The wind was taken out of my sails, I was completely devastated. And even deciding to make the move across the country to Colorado, I was allowing myself to believe that I could make it somewhere else than Florida. A place where I had spent the last 21 years. But I knew the mountains were calling to me to heal, so I had to listen.
Now, so much has changed. Now, I hustle for my daughter. Now, I have dreams and I believe for a better future for her. Now, I embrace the fact that I’m doing this alone, as a single mother. It’s so scary to think that you’re doing this all alone, on your own. But when we lean into that concept, we realize that we have everything we need within. Being a single mother has been such an eye-opening experience. I’ve always believed I had the ability, but now I am faced with the importance of fully embodying that ability, and allowing myself to rest in the fact that I am fully capable and able to care for this young spirit all on my own.
Strong women are not born, they are raised.
We are not told how to deal with devastating events, we are shown.
Even throughout everything that was facing me at that time, I knew I was going to be okay because I believed in my own ability to do so.
If you are facing difficult situations right now, I hope you also believe that about yourself. And if you’re not, I’d love to help you. Check out my 1:1 holistic coaching sessions. It’s nothing formal, in the least bit. I’m just offering a chance to connect to someone who’s truly been through it, in order to redirect your trajectory. I’m offering an absolutely free consultation, so I hope you check it out.
Have you experienced an onset of traumas in your own life and have figured out your own way of overcoming? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s connect this week. You can find us on social media here:
Instagram: @mojaveandwolf
Facebook: @mojaveandwolf
Until next week, may the road rise up to meet you.
D+Mo
